Today is the day before THE day, and I must admit that I’m feeling quite anxious. Tomorrow we should find out whether or not I’ll be accepted as a patient at Duke. It’s been possibly the longest three weeks of my life. And although I’ve tried not to belabor the “what ifs” of Duke’s decision, I’m finding it more and more difficult to keep my mind occupied on something else.
After having the meeting with the liver department head on April 17, Mike and I spent a good deal of time discussing what could happen and what we should expect. But after receiving an email from my transplant coordinator on April 23 stating that Duke didn’t want to make a decision that would “hasten my death,” we decided to table our discussions for a bit. Although both of us are analytical to a fault, I am also a realist and know there are some things that are out of my control. Perhaps that is what makes this waiting game so incredibly frustrating.
So, here’s looking forward to tomorrow and the answer we will receive. Let’s hope that Duke determines that transplantation is a “survival benefit” for me and my family and accepts me into their program. As my coordinator stated, “There is obviously no way to look into a crystal ball and know for sure what the outcome will be–and therein lies the need for careful consideration and collaboration between the teams before we just forge ahead.”